| /haiku/data/system/data/fortunes/ |
| H A D | Magic | 7 An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, …
18 …ng as it were beachcombers on the shores of the unnatural, were already half-enmeshed in his nets.
19 Rincewind's room number in his hall of residence had been 7a. He hadn't been surprised.
24 …nd then licked himself smooth again. Even then he would not look at Molly, but examined his claws.
34 …his routines much as the audiences change over fairly often, and he's got a good life. The only …
35 …rrot walks over to the magician's end of the log. With obvious disgust in his voice, he snaps "OK…
42 No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife in the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style.
44 Rincewind had generally been considered by his tutors to be a natural wizard in the same way that f…
54 …The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood as he reported to Fafhrd: "I have …
61 …Schmendrick did not turn his head. With a touch of sad mockery in his voice, he said, "That's wha…
[all …]
|
| H A D | Sports | 7 …A boy scout troop went on a hike. Crossing over a stream, one of the boys dropped his wallet into…
12 A new 'chutist had just jumped from the plane at 10,000 feet, and soon discovered that all his line…
22 Instead of answering, the hunter showed the ranger his game bag, which contained twelve more loons.
30 …his life a few days ago, in a singular manner. A gentleman with whom he was hunting attempted to …
52 Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.
53 -- Yogi Berra in his rookie season.
103 …outing record by two and a half decibels. "I am not surprised he failed," his wife said afterward…
106 … New York on 9 June 1978. 97,500 dominoes had been set up when he dropped his press badge and set…
131 …his company's Fourth of July picnic, George brought his new pet and announced that the animal coul…
188 -- Yogi Berra at a dinner in his honor
[all …]
|
| H A D | Pets | 9 …The bartender takes out his six-shooter and shoots the dog in the leg, and the dog runs out the sa…
62 … are here to answer the phone and the cat doesn't have opposing thumbs, so his messages are illegi…
71 …s a sable collie, with three legs, blind in his left eye, is missing part of his right ear and the…
74 -- Question James Thurber used to drive his German Shepherd crazy.
94 No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain he can hold his o…
|
| H A D | Medicine | 41 A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests. "I have some bad news," says the …
52 …though no one knew how. The Head turned out to be fairly normal, ignoring his lack of a body, and…
53 …y perfected an operation. Your son can live a normal life now: we can graft a body onto his head!"
60 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
75 his pillow and wishes him a "Good morning!" "Wonderful day, no? Say... guess who's going to die s…
93 …his entire life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days now. He has the sen…
128 …zation was introduced by Werner Forssman in 1929. Ignoring his department chief, and tying his ass…
129 …rence, he placed a ureteral catheter into a vein in his arm, advanced it to the right atrium [of h…
141 … medical science can convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.
220 -- The Old Man and his Bridge
[all …]
|
| H A D | Law | 8 …The rabbit ran his paws all over the snake. "Well, you're low, cold and slimey..." And, as he ran …
10 …his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handout…
12 …Gabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost, "I can't. You know the law -- no retailing spirit…
19 A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funera…
21 A friend of mine won't get a divorce, because he hates lawyers more than he hates his wife.
31 …A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecut…
36 A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in his own home, even though he m…
38 …A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in his own home, even though he …
40 A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?".
59 …After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, …
[all …]
|
| H A D | News | 11 …A journalist, thrilled over his dinner, asked the chef for the recipe. Retorted the chef, "Sorry, …
17 … in Wisconsin being disturbed by a burglar, and having no ball or shot for his pistol, noiselessly…
23 …his tree platform and described the scene into his tape recorder, he saw two gnus grazing peaceful…
36 … or so that says something like: "When he finished his speech, Muskie burst into tears and seized …
83 two opposing ideas in his mind?
114 …his mother said she drove the car, and that he stated that the funniest thing he ever saw was Flip…
|
| H A D | Songs & Poems | 34 And watching his luck was his light-o'-love, the lady that's known as Lou.
116 He sings his song as he rattles along and then he falls apart.
124 will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
161 All tenderly his messenger he chose;
166 "My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart enclose."
167 Love long has taken for his amulet
191 Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
193 And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
204 Write me as one that loves his fellow-men."
246 That in his arms lay glistening.
[all …]
|
| H A D | Art | 9 A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
12 …d himself off into the air and began flapping his arms furiously. Amazingly, rather than plummeti…
30 "Hello?" his friend answers.
35 A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
39 …MacDowell. She played the elegy for the pianist Josef Hoffman, then asked his opinion. "Well, it…
43 A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
55 …tist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seven…
122 …this work to be published or even performed until a year had elapsed after his death. (He died in …
144 As a goatherd learns his trade by goat, so a writer learns his trade by wrote.
172 …In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest …
[all …]
|
| H A D | Platitudes | 44 A farmer is a man outstanding in his field.
48 …A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, w…
50 A fool and his money are soon popular.
90 A homeowner's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a weekend for?
92 …A horse breeder has his young colts bottle-fed after they're three days old. He heard that a foal…
104 A king's castle is his home.
131 A man's best friend is his dogma.
133 A man's house is his castle.
136 A man's house is his hassle.
146 A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
[all …]
|
| H A D | Humorists | 21 …his suburban bungalow to his job at a large brokerage house in his brand new 4x4. He hated his ma…
57 Bernard Shaw is an excellent man; he has not an enemy in the world, and none of his friends like hi…
198 …'re the kind of guy I want to hang around with.' We got into his car and drove out to his shack i…
219 I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
491 …Possibly the horror that Zaphod experienced at the prospect of being reunited with his deceased re…
524 …ttoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the…
540 …his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, wa…
596 …ys held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people…
|
| H A D | Education | 24 Bob has lost his keys in a room which is dark except for one brightly lit corner.
39 …recorded the following on the patient's chart: "Patient failed to fulfill his wellness potential."
43 …After taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls of film to Kodak for develop…
44 …bad experience. Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his pictures all over a…
186 …rds has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of h…
189 [He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.
249 …nterest in knowledge. The wise instructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely th…
289 …elling and after a while the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face. Comes along …
293 …his face and a diploma in his paw. Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit's cave and, as everyb…
336 Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.
[all …]
|
| H A D | Riddles | 54 A: When his lips move.
83 A: Take away his credit cards.
156 A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done.
161 …ollowing. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of…
259 Q: What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?
324 Q: An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his very religious colleague: Do you believ…
367 Q: Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
386 A: To see his friend Gregory peck.
397 Q: Why did the programmer call his mother long distance?
|
| H A D | Computers | 40 …ed the same question. In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop between his feet and, with a fe…
42 …ade string after string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples, who …
75 …A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal. "I would like…
119 … later, the manager retired. On the way to his retirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asl…
122 …vented a new program that became popular and sold well. As a result, the manager retained his job.
128 …A manager went to his programmers and told them: "As regards to your work hours: you are going to …
149 …A master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices. "The Tao is embodied in all softw…
155 The master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.
171 …A novice asked the Master: "Here is a programmer that never designs, documents, or tests his progr…
172 …tion; he no longer cares if anyone else sees his code. He has gone beyond the need for testing; e…
[all …]
|
| H A D | Kids | 12 … the paper, and the wife was feeding the dog, the little kid looks up from his bowl and said, "My …
13 …The couple is stunned. The man, in tears, confronts his son. "Son, after all these years, why ha…
29 …" Thus he spoke as he climbed. When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and he shout…
141 …Catching his children with their hands in the new, still wet, patio, the father spanked them. His…
257 If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair. If this doesn't work, use the other side of…
286 It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
292 …berries like dad primate. Then you'd see the primate teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the…
382 Reinhart was never his mother's favorite -- and he was an only child.
402 …s the judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him. Suddenly, he reached…
|
| H A D | Food | 56 "And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?" asked the father of his little son.
63 As he had feared, his orders had been forgotten and everyone had brought the potato salad.
519 The scene: in a vast, painted desert, a cowboy faces his horse.
528 The way to a man's stomach is through his esophagus.
563 To see the butcher slap the steak, before he laid it on the block, and give his knife a sharpening,…
599 When a person goes on a diet, the first thing he loses is his temper.
627 … equipment the coffee machine, which was no less important to him than his table or his white robe.
652 You should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 if he tells you his name, another $2 if he claims it will b…
654 In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his hemorrhoids.
|
| H A D | Miscellaneous | 9 The man scratches his head. "Wait a minute," he says, "I'll go check."
95 Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension, Salvatore Quanucci was suddenly squirted…
115 Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
172 …During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jello at his wife. She had him arrested for carrying a …
253 For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint.
311 God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.
331 "He flung himself on his horse and rode madly off in all directions."
|
| H A D | One Liners | 15 A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
345 "Every man has his price. Mine is $3.95."
481 "He flung himself on his horse and rode madly off in all directions"
487 "He's just a politician trying to save both his faces ..."
611 If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
1113 Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
|
| /haiku/headers/libs/mapm/ |
| H A D | m_apm.h | 404 int his=m_apm_significant_digits(otherVal.cval()); in digits() local
405 if (maxd<his) maxd=his; in digits()
|
| /haiku/data/system/data/licenses/ |
| H A D | Public Domain | 7 …e Work and publicly distribute the Work under its terms, with knowledge of his or her Copyright an…
21 …h case Affirmer hereby affirms that he or she will not (i) exercise any of his or her remaining Co…
|
| /haiku/data/catalogs/apps/aboutsystem/ |
| H A D | be.catkeys | 5 Travis Geiselbrecht (and his NewOS kernel)\n AboutView Travis Geiselbrecht (асабіста за ядро NewOS…
|
| H A D | th.catkeys | 5 Travis Geiselbrecht (and his NewOS kernel)\n AboutView Travis Geiselbrecht (และเคอร์เนล NewOS ของเ…
|
| H A D | el.catkeys | 5 Travis Geiselbrecht (and his NewOS kernel)\n AboutView Travis Geiselbrecht (και ο πυρήνας του, New…
|
| /haiku/data/catalogs/preferences/appearance/ |
| H A D | tr.catkeys | 31 Look and feel APRWindow Görünüm ve his
|
| /haiku/docs/develop/kernel/vm/ |
| H A D | swap_file_support.rst | 96 gives me encouragement. Without his consistent and illuminating instructions,
|
| /haiku/src/add-ons/media/media-add-ons/esound_sink/ |
| H A D | EsounD-protocol.txt | 12 of EsounD in pure Java and this document is based on his knowledge,
|